Happy Monday

I cannot believe I am at 13dpo...I guess in the pains of waiting and spotting, I forgot to notice how I'm at the end (my LP is 14-15) of this cycle, I'm either pregnant or not. It kind of just blew my mind this morning looking at my chart. How all that planning, and trying and hoping, are here. Right now. At the end. 

My mind has been consumed with thoughts of this cycle. I'm feeling pretty thin, worn thin by hopes and wishing. These are common feelings at the end of my cycle, I'm used to them, but often forget they will come. I just feel tired of thinking about my fertility.

I've had a few rough days, no tears (okay, a few), just feeling one second very pregnant and the next dishearten and low. 

I caught myself thinking what we will need for our next cycle, and I wont. I refuse to plan for the following cycle until I see red (or, rather, more of it). I don't have it in me to start planning and wishing again yet. I am going to take time to be angry, or really elated. Hopefully elated.

Time will tell, and in my case, only a day or two left of these pins and needles....

Comments

[Julie]

Sending hugs, love, support, and good vibes your way, love!

[AmberS]

I think there's something about the end of a cycle that makes my thoughts turn to pregnancy. I almost think it's hormonal and natural. Right now I have an IUD, and am in no way TTC, but I am at the end of my own cycle now and I am having these thoughts.

And I am continuing to think good thoughts for you.

[Sandy]

I have been following your blog for a couple of months. We too are TTC and should find out any day. Ironically we were considering asking you too be our doula and if we were both to be pregnant with similar due dates that would possibly not work! :)

[rae]

you have my love and best wishes on this journey! i know it's hard... i remember how hard.