Baby Autumn

When I found out I was pregnant I thought to myself "I want a completely natural home birth, we will be using Midwifes, this will be the perfect birth, I will go to prenatal classes" However, I never thought, "I will definitely have a doula" even though the idea lingered in the back of my mind. My husband pretty much left it up to me whether or not we would have a doula. I knew I wanted one, needed one, but the cost was hanging over my head especially knowing our income was about to be cut pretty well in half and on top of that we are bringing a being into this world! Having a doula was not only for me, but my husband.
To keep a long story short, the only things that happened the way I wanted was: Yes, we used a Midwives, and we went to prenatal classes. At the prenatal classes they praised on and on about doulas, and I had to have a doula, I knew it-my husband needed a doula. So one night I was on the Internet and I came across an ad about a doula looking for clients, I checked out the site, pretty well the only doula site I looked at, and knew it, instantly. After a few short (very quick responses) I knew it, pretty well before meeting our doula, I knew Amber was "the one". As cliche as it may sound, this was going to be someone there at my side during one of the most intimate times in my life and I trusted Amber. She is worth ever penny I have ever had and will ever have.
Amber was by my side during the unbearable heat of the summer, one of the first people I turned to when I found out my daughter was breech, the one who kept me positive when I had lost all hope for the "perfect birth" she reassured me every step of the way that "yes, I could do this" and that this was going to be my birth, my experience. She was there the entire time. When I told her my water broke she was right into action, excited yet calm, as were we. Back and forth to the hospital, at my house, taking pictures with our consent, there was the perfect air about the entire birth. I remember her putting a blanket onto my husband when he fell asleep, and all of us feeling it was OK that he was able to take a snooze 'cause Amber was there to be by our sides.
I was in labour for 23 hours, deep down, I knew I was not going to have the perfect breech birth I wanted, but thanks to the midwifes and Amber I had decided I was going to labour, I knew all the benefits, people told me I was crazy and asking why I would want to go through all that pain and suffering. But, to be honest-There was absolutely no pain and suffering. It was the birth that was meant for me, it was pure joy, it was the hardest thing I have ever done, but the most rewarding. I have never felt so alive and womanly. The only thing I would change is having the doctors shutting her out and being separated as I was being wheeled into the OR for my "emergency C Section" looking around and knowing that she was missing from the moment, the picture (definitely not by choice). Not being able to hold my daughter right as she was born. Knowing she must have been pacing back and forth being antsy waiting for some news. Then seeing the look in her eyes as she held my daughter for the first time.
There is just something about Amber, no words will ever do justice, you need to have her there, part of your birth to truly understand, then you will realize exactly what I am talking about. She may not have been able to give me EVERYTHING as fate has it's ways, but she came into our lives for a reason. To help my family, to be a doula-to do what she is does best.
Ryan, Autumn and I couldn't be happier. Amber will always be part of our lives, our story, someone that is part of my daughters story. She has been an inspiration.